11-year-old stepdaughter from different country, culture, religion desplaying BAFFELING behaviors. What to do?

She begs to go to expensive amusement park, I get tickets, yet she suddenly would rather see Spiderman 3. She is Muslim, from western Africa, %26amp; is dark skinned, yet she sees all black women as “ugly”. She loves princesses with blonde hair/ blue eyes like Cinderella whom she describes as “very beautiful” scoffing at the only dark skinned princess Disney ever tried to do a film on, who is also MUSLIM—“Princess Jasmine”. She refers to her as looking “OK” once she said Princess Jasmine was “ugly” %26amp; she didn’t want to see any movie that she was in (!!???).She hates it if I say Tyra Banks is one of the world’s most beautiful women! If I say Britney Spears is she is silent but does not go off about how Spears is “ugly” the way she does with Banks. She said that cutting my hair will attract “ghosts” to me %26amp; they may kill me at night (!?). I asked what about your father/brothers? Don’t they have short hair? She tells me everything is “different for women". How to deal w/this? Avoid her? I wish!

11-year-old stepdaughter from different country, culture, religion desplaying BAFFELING behaviors. What to do?
Since you mentioned Tyra Banks!!


ANTM had an indian girl last season that saw herself as ugly. She thought she was ugly because a lot of people picked on her for being so dark, but obviously she wasn’t ugly. They picked her to be on the show!





I think she needs time to adjust. She’s still very young. Children remember everything, and it’s not so easy to shake off everything they learn from other people. She’ll be fine, just be patient and be a good step mom!
Reply:The changing her mind from amusement park to seeing the movie thing just sounds like typical adolescent behavior. Annoying, but not BAD. The other stuff.....I don't know. Perhaps she's been told that only white women are beautiful or has little self-esteem about how she looks. All I can recommend is to continue to remark on how women of color are beautiful if they come up in conversation and let her know that SHE is beautiful. She's a pre-teen and pre-teens lack confidence. Show her how ALL women are beautiful, not just Disney's white princesses. :)





To the poster below me, Africa is NOTTTTTTTTTT a country. It's a continent made up of over 50 countries.
Reply:oh wow. You got your hands full for sure.





I would say with the whole ugly thing and what not is probably self esteem issues.





You buying expensive tickets then her not using them isn't right. She needs to know the value of money. You said she is from Africa so i don't know why she would be like this being that country barley has money. But if you buy something like that then i would make her stick to her. It also teaches her responsibilities and to make her choices wisely and not just having you buy them because she thinks she wants to do it but doesn't really know because of maybe the way of life she was used to in Africa. Oh i hope i explained this part right. :|





And the other things about the killing and what not i would tell her how the American ways are. and maybe start getting her into your religion whatever it may be. But if those type of things get worse or are really bothering you then i would suggest taking her to a councilor or something.





I hope it all works out well for you. Good Luck!
Reply:sounds like you need some REAL help! maybe a good DR.
Reply:Your husband....her father should take her to family counseling to help her integrate into our society.





You should back him up but pretty much stay out of it.