Please put yourself in my position. . I have a daughter with (Rob) who has another daughter 6 years old?

(Jasmine). I do not let my x see our daughter because of MANY reasons including drug abuse, violent behavior etc....he can still see his daughter.He can take me to court I have kept a slight relationship with Jasmine. Well about a month ago I found out she was no longer aloud to see Rob. There have been pleanty of situations in the past where anyone with common sense would have ended his visitation rights. So I went to find out why. Jasmine and her mother told me (amound many other things) that one night when he came over late at night he touched her leg near her private area. well later on he was allowed to see her again. Honestly I can not see him doing something like thiat but her and her mother made it sound like it was serious. I went to see Jasmine and told her if she ever felt like someone was hurting her that it was okay to tell someone. Her mom called me a few hours later and was mad and said to let her handle it, that I scared her so that she doesn't want to see him . . .

Please put yourself in my position. . I have a daughter with (Rob) who has another daughter 6 years old?
I found it difficult to understand what you were saying but I gather that Rob has at least two children. Both of those are female and the mother of the other daughter who is not yours is saying that Rob's behaving in a sexually questionable manner with his child.


I have to tell you that because you said there have been multitudes of situations that Jasimine's mother could have used to end Rob's visitation....and did not, that there is very little liklihood that she is making one up to prevent him from seeing her. That puts up a big red flag where your daughter and Rob are concerned so I hope that you will make it clear to yours as well that no one is to touch her anywhere private or come near anywhere that is. I hope you will also tell her to be sure to let you know if anyone does and that it does not matter if it is a stranger, a family member, a minister, a teacher, you want to know. As far as Jasmine is concerned, it is her mother's place to tell her those same things and since she has stopped Rob's visitation because of it, I would think she has already told their daughter the same. Being told twice never hurts but I don't think I would have mentioned any names and I just would have made it clear that if anyone did that, it was to be told. The situation Jasmine just faced is a scarey one, especially when courts usually do not stop the visitation because of the behavior. We had a child wake us in the middle of the night hysterical. Once we let her in and calmed her we were able to call police after explaining the necessity to. Her father went to court, agreed to counseling and in the meantime prior to, during and after court she was still living with him-go figure. At best maybe Rob will have to do supervised visitation. Unless he lives with Jasmine's mother then maybe the best anyone can hope for is counseling and that the behavior will stop. The sad thing though is that psychiatrists don't seem to know of any way of stopping perverts. If Jasmine is going to have to keep on seeing her dad, that is probably why her mother is upset that it has been brought up again, if there is not much that can be done. I have grown up with scores of children who have been molested in the homes around me, and heard tales about (ficticious name:) Mr Jones next door assaulted his daughter and now is doing his granddaughter. In one case the girl told me that her grandfather told her he grew up on a farm and as a boy did the pigs and they did not mind!! Well, Mr Jones is a part time minister and seems so nice that I would not expect it but when two generations tell you it is so, it is time to believe. I guess John Gacey seemed like a really nice man too and what did he have 39 boys bodies in house floors and walls? Do you know all his neighbors and friends were surprised!! Do you also know that there were more bodies but it was so disgusting to police that the searching stopped there and the house was torn down? I guess that is how people with perversions get their victims-because they seem so nice and trustworthy. What about all the married men having good sex at home and raising families but get caught as serial rapists? I guess sick minds don't make alot of sense and you can't go by what you [ersonally know anymore. When someone, especially a child says there is something wrong, you have to listen and try to protect them, not say you can't see someone you know doing something like that. When you get right down to it, everyone who does sick things knows people and has a family, many times a very good family but that does not stop them from acting out on their darker side in the cover of secrecy. So to the best that I can, I have put myself in your position. You find it difficult to believe, but isn't it difficult for us to believe that ANYONE would do such things? As a result, warn your daughter, not about Rob per say but about ANYONE and try to keep a close eye on her, especially if she is somewhere that Rob may see her. You already warned his other daughter and what is done is done, just say no more about it unless you see her and she brings it up. Then listen to what she has to say and if it something bad, tell her she has to tell her mom and you make sure you tell her as well. That way you know she knows. Don't try to advise the other girl how to act around Rob or anyone anymore, just let her mom do that. Frankly, the drug abuse and violence should have been enough for her mom to keep Jasmine within eyes distance and try to get visitation that is only on a supervised basis if at all, and usually that means on a supervised basis. Maybe it was supervised and that is how she knows. Whatever the case is, it would be well if both of you moms steer clear of Rob whenever possible and if that means move and you can, I would. Just on the basis of drug abuse and violence. Too many women and their children end up dead when someone like that snaps. Rob may seem sweet when he is sober, I don't know, some of them are but some people on drugs take on whole new personalities when they are high and you never know when that will happen. It can also happen after they get treatment and become part of the withdrawls. The safest thing to do is to do all you can to protect yourself and family by getting and staying as far away as possible. Whether you do that or not, you should also seek the advice of a good counselor and let one help both of you through this time of stress as she will document the things you tell her and it may become necessary later in court to have her or him (the counselor), present to support your complaint. It is no joke when they say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Keep that in mind and if you pray, pray often for families who are going through what Rob's families are and for Rob too because his life definitely needs some help, at the very least with anger and drugs and violence issues. I truly wish I could help you more but that is what counselors are for so I hope that you will see one for awhile. I also hope no one like Rob will come into your life again and that the lives of his past romantic efforts and those of himself and children will improve. God Bless.
Reply:1st use spell check it makes your question easier to read. Thanks. If you suspect this child is being abused take steps to stop it. If this fella had some moral fiber I might take a good look before I reacted but that does not sound like the case. Take action.
Reply:im sorry i can hardly understand what ur saying tho wat i know i think if u think hes able to do soemthing anything, to endanger ur child then its okay to talk to them tho if soemthing anything happens i wouldnt ever let him see her or me again
Reply:first off you can't spell.


second ,you make no sense.


and third;you have no business butting in the relationship he has with his other daughter.she has a mother and they don't need your help.
Reply:I think I'm following this...you really don't want to be your stepdaughters best friend, that is up to her mom and her dad. However, I applaud you for trying to be adult and help a child that you feel emotions for. Sorry the mother is so messed up that she can't see past her anger. A divorce is only as good as the people who participate in the divorce.


I'm thinking that you have problems with your X and Jasmine is Rob's???? If that is the case and you think he could...he probably is. Report it, you don't want this in your world. Go with your gut, it will guide you the right direction. I'd rather be wrong than right and sorry.....good luck, sounds like you have gotten yourself into this way tooo far, hope you can get out okay....
Reply:You had no right to confront Jasmine, she is just a child you have given no indications whether you are marred to her father or not, if not then none of this is really any of your business. You had no right to snoop into why he no longer had visitation with his daughter. I suggest that if you are not related to anyone involved that you stay out of it period.