Friday, November 13, 2009

My Husband is Cheating on me?

I met this amazing man, But recently I found out he's been cheating on me. We've been married for about 6 months and I found out That I was pregnant about a week ago and I am crying really hard at night because I love him so much and he's dating another girl named Jasmine. He hasn't told me that he's been cheating but I found out by his phone, he left it at home and she called and left a message and I read it. I don't know what to do!





I love him and I'm pregnant and he's cheating on me. He never seemed ecxited that I was going to have a baby. I am really sad. What do I do?

My Husband is Cheating on me?
This is the worst time he could possibly do this. I am so sorry for you. You should leave him for your own health and the health of your baby.
Reply:Being Pregnant make you emotional none the less. My advice is to leave him. Better you found out after 6 months in the marriage than years down the road - after having built your dreams with his. I know it hurts - but do you want your child raised with a man like that? If he did it to you - he'll do it to her. Get an anullment NOW before you have to split all your stuff. You can do it. I am a single mom of 3 and am much happier NOW than having a lieing cheatn' no good dog around me and my kids. Its tough but you can do it.
Reply:ooohhh I am so sorry to hear this. I know how you feel. You can barely breath... I would talk to him about it and I would also call her and see if she even knows he has a wife.. You certainly need to think about talking to your family about staying with them for a while and probably should see a counselor. You definately do not deserve this... I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you do not stay married to him because he will do this again... Trust me I have lived through this same thing.
Reply:Well when before you tell him that you know, make sure he is with that girl and call the cops on him so that you don't get screwed if he leaves you and also your the one that is going to have that baby so don't let that affect you and forget him.
Reply:You're now at a stage where there's nothing left to do but talk it out with him. If you can't get anything from that, then there really is nothing left to do. I can understand the pain in your heart, but unless and until he doesn't there's no way for this relationship to work. You will have to leave him. Life is a very long game. If nothing works out, move on. About the child, im sorry, i really have no suggestions that I can give you (being a male myself).





Good luck.
Reply:see that's where you have it all wrong.


if i did the same thing to my wife, she's already hired a hitman for Jasmine, and after she takes out 10 million dollar life policy on me, she has me dead shortly after.





and that is why i would never even dream about cheating on her.


i really love my wife.
Reply:talk to him about this matter express how much u love him and how much u depend on him and u need him express all these things and make a point that u r the only person in this world would love so much if he doesn't care about what u r saying means then u must believe that that person all these days was cheating u complaint to police to break a girls heart is equal to murder don't leave him
Reply:I personally would not stay in that kind of relationship especially because you are pregnant. You are putting yourself at risk for diseases because you don't who all he is with. but if you talk to him, i have seen people who have changed. He needs to stop if you are going to stay with him. Give him the choice. If he continues then walk away. best of luck
Reply:You need to talk to him about the situation. Figure out if your marriage can be saved, or if you need to move on and go your own way (he'd still be responsible for child support).





We can't tell you what to do...you have to make that decision yourself but it needs to start with communicating about this, and then you'll have to decide beyond that (counseling? divorce? him promising to stop and you wait and see?)
Reply:I feel really sorry for you


but i suggest you confront him and think about leaving


he obviously is not loving you and treating you right


and you need to think if you really can bear living with him knowing hes cheating on you and is not bothered with his baby.





good luck.
Reply:ok this is what i would do:





i'd divorce him, move farrr away so he will never see the baby and then he will end up getting hurt so it goes both ways. id think he doesnt deserve to see the baby...these men can be such bitches.. just cause their not the ones giving birth to a baby they think they can **** and sleep aroud all they want! ugh dirty bitches





but then again thats just me
Reply:its useless for you to love him the thing that he is not excited having a baby with you it is clear enough that he don't love you anymore leave him your baby will make you complete... but first talk to him to make things clear.
Reply:As much as it sucks, throw him out and focus on your health and the baby. What an ahole...cheating after 6 months. What the heck did he get married for if he couldn't keep his pants on! Ugh! Sorry girl...hang in there, but get rid of him!
Reply:GIRL CONFRONT HIM AND kick him out for good ..................you deserve someone better and that truly loves you and if i were you i would also call the number back and talk to that b*****





GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS ON THE BABY ..........
Reply:I say talk to him about it. See whats going on but it looks as if divorce is your best choice. After all who wants to be with a man who can't stay faithful for 6 months? Good luck.
Reply:There is absolutely nothing amazing about this guy except how easily he got in your pants. Call Jerry Springer.
Reply:leave him!!! its obvious that he doesnt love you as much as you love him.... this will in turn become a very unhealthy relationship...
Reply:Confront him about it and tell him he will have to choose between you and the other girl.
Reply:He sounds less then amazing to me. Leave him.
Reply:Get a divorce
Reply:Divorce him and get child support....He sure doesn't sound amazing to me....
Reply:You are 13 years old....stop lying and wasting everyones time with your questions that are full of lies!
Reply:are you sure???? what DID the message say?
Reply:Child support AND Alimony...you gotta love this country!
Reply:What an amazing piece of ****. Walk away babe, just walk away!
Reply:I'm gonna go with Ashleigh's comment above...what did the message say?? How often do women misconstrue what they read or hear because we automatically assume it's for the worst? Maybe it's some chick he rejected trying to get him back by saying sexy things in text messages. You need to sit down with your husband and discuss what you saw before you jump to such hasty conclusions. Secondly, what married man having an affair leaves his cell phone lying around when he goes out? Thirdly, who's even named Jasmine anymore? Sorry, beside the point. Anyway, before you get yourself sick with worry over something potentially blown out of hand, talk to him. You took vows for "better or worse" so it's up to you to uphold them just as much as him. If he's cheating, and you can forgive him, then forgive him. If you can't forgive, and you can live with it...still divorce him. It's not a good environment to bring your baby into - a man that you don't respect as his father. Good luck with whatever you choose, but make sure you think it through because this is your baby's life you're also making decisions for, not just yours.
Reply:You will need to confront him. There are two ways he can react. He might admit to everything, open up, get help, be embarrassed and want to fix himself. He should be willing to be an open book completely (you have access to the cell phone, he lets you know where he is, etc) until he EARNS back your trust. But, don't bank on it...chances are, he'll admit it and waffle and make up excuses and fudge and hope to continue his affair while getting you to "trust" him again. I've been through this...the only hope is for you to put your foot down and demand that he act like a man, protect you and the child, and live up to his promises. If he can't, then he's not able to be an effective father and you might need to consider a split. But remember something - the split will have its own issues...the other woman may become his stepmother someday! Take a deep breath for now...there will be tough times ahead. Take care.
Reply:You deserve so much better. And for the babies sake try not to get to upset. You could end up having a miscarriage due to stress. If he does not have the respect you enough to respect your marriage for more than 6 months then think about the many years to come. And remember you do not need to be married to raise a child. This is the kind of situation that you want to seriously think about your child first, it is no longer about you. Do you want your child to grow up in an unhappy home? If your husband is willing to cheat on you, what else is he willing to do? "I KNOW" it can be one of the hardest choices in your life to realize this amazing man, is just a man who is not perfect. Good luck, but remember, it is no longer about just you, but the child you hold within you.
Reply:You will have to let him know what you found out... Give him the opportunity to tell you exactly what is going on... Don't surmise anything....





If it is such the case that he indeed is "stepping out" on you... you have to face the problem and move from there..


As painful as it is....especially with a new baby coming, it is imperative that you get to the truth of the matter.





Maybe he is fearful of becoming a father? The responsibility of raising a child is an awesome task. Talk with him when you are calm... or as calm as you can be...





If he wants to keep his marriage.. he will tell you, hopefully.


If not, you won't have the choice of trying to keep him.


You deserve someone who loves you and wants to share their life with you.





Communication is the key here.. as painful as it may be..


Better to know what he wants and feels then to hope for the


the rosy future with someone who wants to share the wealth with others.... You know what I mean....





I don't think I would want to be with someone who doesn't want me... if that's the case...





Talk to him and see where he is in his life...





Take care.... and remember that you have a new life coming into this world... you are blessed.
Reply:Well, there are several things going on here. Too many women just assume that their getting pregnant will/must be 100% accepted by their man. No, this is the sort of issue where BOTH people need to discuss it, beforehand, so that, when and if it happens, BOTH people are willing and happy for it to occur. So, its quite possible that your announcement about being pregnant has upset him, and that he is acting out, badly, I agree, because of that. Did you two discuss and agree on having a baby before you got pregnant ?


Given that mess, then you need to discuss all of this with him. Crying and moping is for children, who are passive when faced with life. Adults are active and they take charge of life, and take steps to arrive at better results. Your choice. Mope


of deal and make it better.


"No, do or do not. There is no try." Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back.
Reply:I say you confront him with this, and give him the chance to be a real man and come clean, and fix the situation.





You need to tell him clearly, that you don't want to continue if this is going to be his standard mode of operation.





If he starts lying about it, making excuses, etc., then get away from him IMMEDIATELY, move in with someone who can protect you (in case this guy becomes a psycho), and see a divorce attorney.





By the way, It does no good to try to threaten him, like "you stop seeing her or I'm leaving, and I'm going to sue you for everything you've got" blah blah blah.





He should not be faithful just because you threaten him. He either has character, or he doesn't, and that exists outside of being threatened.


It's also dangerous, because if he's a bad guy, you can get hurt doing this.





PM me if you want more advice.


(I'm a guy, by the way)

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